LIFE KINDA..SUCKS.

WELLLLLLLL. I haven't posted anything up for a LONG ASS time. So..here it goes. These days...I have been through so much shit..I think. I feel that my life totally changed. I think differently about myself. I seem to act differently to myself. I mean..I've done some "things" to my body..that I would have never thought of doing ever before..in my life. On the outside..I try to look like the happiest person alive..I NEVER like showing my sad..side to anyone...but lately..my feelings are revealed to others..on the inside..I have been so stressed and frustrated with myself. UGHHHHH. finals are over..and I got straight As and Os..but why am I so..unhappy? I don't know..I just need someone to talk to..but no one seems to ask..or care enough.. I am trying to think positively..but sometimes..it just doesn't work. I struggle through life everyday..but no one seems to notice..and I'm glad that they don't. Usually..people think of me as a bitch..because I come off to be very blunt...and I could care less what others say..although recently..I got real hurt when someone said something to me.. People thought it was nothing..but I took it very seriously. I have no clue..why some seniors in highschool are so nice..and yet some are so mean. I just don't get it. Most of them treat me great..they drive me out to places, invite me to go place, and even care for me when I'm down. I know that next year, when they are all gone..I'll feel a little bad..and miss them..BUT in the long run. I know that hanging with them at times will build my bucket??? of friends. (awkward)

Another issue..I was suppose to go snowboarding tomorrow..but it got cancelled..FORTUNATELY, a senior invited me to go snowboarding with a few others. HE WILL TEACH ME! AND ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS ARE LETTING ME BORROW HER CLOTHES! I can't wait. I am aware that the first time..will be hard.. BUTTTT. I will do fine..I think..2 seniors that are going with me..promised to help me. I am looking forward to this day :) Whoa..it's pretty..late.. and yet. I am oovooing with someone right now. HAHAAHa. ugh..I'm kinda tired right now..Posting this really helped.. BYEEEEEEEEEEE~